Tightlacing, bitch!!!

So, I have decided to start tightlacing. It is the extended process of changing the shape of your waist by tightening a corset a little bit every day over a period of weeks or months. I made a corset for this purpose. It’s not quite fully-drawn, but it’s as tight as possible right now. I won’t be wearing it this tight for another couple of weeks, but this is just an idea of what it will look like then.

Dude… normally I have a 44 inch waist. The corset gave me a….. wait for it…. 32 inch. I haven’t been a 32 inch in eight years.

Total awesomeness.




I found these the other day. I just found them really interesting. It’s one thing to know it, it’s another to find actual written proof that other people read. It took be back a little. Not all the way back, as I can’t remember, but it just had a very nostaligic effect on me. I’m thinking about buying copies and making a scrapbook about it for my mom and me.

I want to make it clear that this essay covers so-called “sanguine” vampires only, in other words, those that drink blood. This is not in reference or related to “psychic” vampirism, as I have not yet accumulated enough evidence in favor of or against it’s existence.

A long time ago, probably a couple years now, I wrote a post about diseases that mimic the symptoms of Vampirism. There was a lot of opinions on both sides, but I will admit that, while compelling, it was not adequate evidence to throw people into serious doubt about the possibility of real, authentic vampires. As a result, I continued to study both history and medicine to find reasonable and well researched evidence to truly grasp the minds of believers and turn them to skepticism. I am pleased to say that I have some research that will further my pursuit to put an end to this highly dangerous delusion.

First, we must outline what is and is not a vampire in the traditional sense of the term. Vampires are defined as either a humanoid creature of subhuman intellect or a fully sentient humanoid creature that MUST ingest human blood in order to sustain it’s own life. People who crave the taste of blood or ingests it to achieve sexual gratification are not vampires. They are blood fetishists.

Now, with that it mind, we must address the very obvious and glaring inconsistency with the “blood for sustenance” delusion. The fact is, and any medical professional with any credibility will agree, the body is not designed to intake and process large amounts of blood on a regular basis. There are not enough proteins, carbohydrates, sugars, fats, or nutrients in blood to maintain the life of a fully grown human being or any offshoot mutations thereof.

The process of digestion, and this will be important later, begins when a human ingests food or liquid. According to a nurse practitioner who offered this information to the public:

It is first broken up into a bolus by chewing, then churned up in the stomach with digestive juices to form a mass called chyme. It then passes through the pylorus into the duodenum (part of the small intestine) where it mixes with bile salts and secretions from the pancreas and liver which continue breaking it down on a molecular basis, mostly affecting fats at this point. The broken down nutrients pass through the wall of the intestines and into the bloodstream where they are carried to each cell or stored for later use. Indigestible bulk continues through the intestines, turning a dark brown from the bile. Water is absorbed from this mass in the large intestine depending on the needs of the body – a well-hydrated person will usually have a softer stool than a dehydrated person will. Water also enters the bloodstream, and this is what helps to maintain blood pressure. The pressure tends to balance itself in a healthy person because the bloodstream goes through a formation in the kidney called the Loop of Henle, where the narrowing blood vessel forces excess water and cellular waste such as urea out through the cellular wall into the kidneys, where it is excreted through the ureters into the bladder, and then out of the body via the urethral passageway.

The traditional idea of a vampire at it’s base is that they must supplement blood in place of other foods due to the inability to break down complex carbohydrates and protein. If they did not have this condition, the theory of drinking blood for sustenance would be completely pointless. However, a person who is physically unable to process food for nutrition could not process blood because it involves the exact same process as digesting food. Ingested blood does not travel directly to the veins; it would have to be converted usable fuel by the digestive system first. The intake of blood would have to occur at least once a day and would require the ingestion of the entire blood supply of the donor, which could not happen as the stomach is far too small to hold that much. Keep in mind that your stomach is about the same size as your fist. In addition, one wouldn’t be able to pass something that large through the intestines as it has no fibrous bulk, would create an intestinal impaction, causing massive vomiting from the large concentration of iron present, and any “real” vampire would have to eventually expel the waste, which would come out as a black, tarry, smelly goo.

The humans who profess to be vampires are as human as you or I, regardless of their claims. Believing they need to ingest blood would not stop them from contracting a blood-bourne pathogen. If they ingest HIV tainted blood they can most certainly contract the disease. It is a very dangerous delusion to be laboring under. Remember, there is absolutely no scientific or medical proof that this practice is in any way beneficial at all. You would be hard pressed to find a medical journal about the positive or negative effects of “Vampirism”, as just about all doctors find the concept laughable. One thing to remember is that there has not been one person yet who has had ANY medical training that believes in the existence of vampires or ever came forward claiming to be one. (If you can find someone who has, please correct me. I’d be glad to retract that statement if it can be incontrovertibly proven wrong.)

There is no “vampire” gene. If such a gene existed, in today’s world with today’s technology it would have been found; scientists have already completely sequenced the human genome. It would also have to follow Mendel’s law of dominant/recessive gene theory. Again, the odds on that many “vampires” all escaping the notice of the medical/scientific community are so low as to be almost nonexistent.

There is no “vampire virus”. Think of it in terms of the definition of a virus. HIV is a virus, and look at how fast it has spread. According to the vampire websites, there are “tens of thousands” of vampires running around the planet. If that was so then at least one of them has ended up in a hospital for blood work when they became for various reasons, including natural disease and/or accidents. If there really is that many vampires in the world, they would have been detected and medical science would have isolated it, studied it, applied for research grants on it,  published papers on it, etc. If there were as many vampires out there as they claim, there would be some sort of medical cataloging, knowledge, testing, or at least a curious medical pursuit of it. And there isn’t. At all. I’ve been looking for quite a while, and I have not found one case of supposed vampirism post-1910 that was not explained by known physical or mental disorders. There is no virus in existence that can change a person on a molecular level without being fatal.

Now, hopefully this is enough information to at least give people pause. It is my opinion that those under such potentially deadly delusions find professional help before they endanger their lives and/or the lives of others. I can only hope evidence of this nature will not be immediately ignored or dismiss by those desperate to believe in the impossible. Having said that, if anyone can come forward with cold hard facts in favor of the existence of Vampirism, please don’t hesitate to post it. I am a true skeptic, in that I demand to be proven wrong with firm, solid evidence. I don’t want to hear “I’m a vampire, I need blood,” or “I know someone who is and says they need it.” Real, tangible proof is what I require. If you don’t have it, don’t expect me to take you at your word.

* Creditted to Lord Bear, the National Food and Drug Administration, The National Handbook for Nurse Practitioners, The National Center for Disease Control, the Medical Journal for Digestive Disorders, the Human Genome Project, and all the medical personel who contributed to this essay.

Woes of the Nocturnal

I seem to have become completely nocturnal.

I’ve had sleeping problems all my life, even as a small child. I could never seem to fall asleep when I was supposed to and was up really late every night just staring at the ceiling, patiently waiting to go to sleep. As a child, my bed times were usually between seven and eight o’clock every night, but I’d end up laying there for hours, sometimes as late as two in the morning. As I have aged, this problem has only gotten worse.

I have sleep disorders. I have severe and chronic insomnia in addition to moderate apnea, which means I stop breathing when I sleep; the tissue in my throat literally collapses on itself. This problem has prevented me from using any sort of prescribed sleep aid, as there is a distinct chance that if I had an apneatic episode while on drugs to keep me asleep, I may end up suffocating in my sleep. Herbal and over-the-counter sleep aids only help so much, as I have a high tolerance to medicines and naturally occuring chemicals. It has gotten it’s worst in the last year. I no longer seem to be able to fall asleep during the night at all. I fall asleep when the sun comes up and I wake when the sun goes down. You could set your watch to it. The only time I’ve been able to sleep at night were times when I had been up for a few days and was just so exhausted that it was a miracle I actually made it to my bed before passing out.

The thing about this is: I don’t mind being a nocturnal person, but there are three problems with being nocturnal. I like the night better than the day; I always have. It’s quieter, it’s more peaceful, is not as bright so it doesn’t hurt my eyes. The air feels and smells cleaner, in a way. I feel more comfortable when I’m out with friends if it is night. I just don’t like the daytime. It’s too bright and crowded and loud. The first problem with this is people seem to think that people who sleep all day are lazy and people who stay up all night are immoral, which I don’t really understand. I can do everything I could during the day after dark; in some causes I can actually do more at nighttime than I could during the day. I can do my banking online, so I don’t need to go to the bank for that (unless I need to make a deposit, which is rare). I can do all my chores when everyone is asleep without interruption or people making a mess just minutes after finishing. I can read, write, draw, or do my craft work without being bothered constantly by people, which wouldn’t be possible during the day. Grocery stores are deserted at four in the morning, so no waiting in line. There is virtually no traffic whatsoever, so if I want to go out for something to eat I’m not stuck behind little old ladies heading to church or old men who’s eyesight is failing and compensates by drive twenty mph under the speed limit. Or even worse….. student drivers. *Shudder*

I don’t understand this mentality. Despite the fact that I understand my own conditions and even though I know that it is more beneficial and efficient for me to stay up at night, I still feel guilty for sleeping during the day. That’s the second problem. Society has ingrained in our brains that daytime is the active period and nighttime is the neutral period, and to reverse this pattern is unnatural and/or illogical. The percentage of people who are nocturnal throughout their lives is very low; something like less than 10% world-wide. Usually people have phases in which they experience being nocturnal (most often during the college years and after the birth of a child), but they usually grow out of it. I never did. I probably never will.

The third problem, which can be the most frustrating at times, is that there is so little to do at night. You can’t go to the movies at three a.m. There are no book stores or coffee shops open. No chinese restaurants or bakeries. Sure, you could go to a bar or a club, but who needs that kind of noise? And casinos are just bad luck.

I think one day when I manage to save enough, or find some willing investers, I should open an all-night bookstore/coffee shop with a movie projection wall on the back of the building with a covered pavillion. There could be a stage in the cafe for performers who burn the midnight oil. There could be night classes and art shows. God, it would be awesome.

Ah, well. It’s four in the afternoon. Way past my bedtime.

New corset!!

This is a picture of the corset I made for a friend of mine. She’s skinny and she sucks. But she’s paying, so I can’t complain.



 More to come. I’ve got a corset I need to finish before the faire next weekend.

Considering the fact that I used to be Christian, I think I’m fairly kind in my assessment of how fucked up it’s practices and ideals are.  I try to overlook some things that really puzzle and aggrivate me, but there are still things that crop up in discussions about Christianity that really get me angry. Things that, had I known them when I was Christian, would have turned me to Athiesm in half a heartbeat. One of which is something I call “Moral Equality.”

Moral equality is the belief that every sin commited is the same on a moral level. Example: A  hungry, homeless child who steals an apple from a street fruit stand is on the same moral level as a man who rapes and murders prepubescent children. That’s dispicable. The idea that a victimized, starving child is in any way the same as a sexual deviant and murder is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard.

My grandfather was a wife-beater and a pedophile. I actually find myself hoping that Hell exists just so he can be sent there. That being said, I once stole some candy from my parents room. The concept that because I ate my parents’ candy without asking somehow makes me the same morally as my psychotic pedophile grandfather is reprehensible on a level that is stunning.

Fuck… This is one of the things that really make me want to start swearing for a solid hour.


(To be followed shortly by a blog on indiscriminate forgiveness.)

The Gardasil Lie

Anyone who owns a T.V. has probably seen advertisements for a pharmecutical vaccine called Gardasil, a quadrivalent vaccine that is said to prevent against the infection of four types of HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) and prevent cervical cancer and genital warts in many cases. Now, if this were true, Gardasil would be a wonderful product. But it’s not.

Fact one: Gardasil claims that it vaccinates women against four types of HPV. The ad boasts that the vaccine will protect against two types of HPV (strains 16 and 18)  that cause seventy percent of all cervical cancer, and two other types (strains 10 and 11 ) that are responsible for ninety percent of genital warts. However, there are over one hundred known strains of the virus, with new strains being discovered on a regular basis. Each strain has some chance of becoming active during one’s lifetime and influencing several deseases, and are usually triggered by prolonged diet inconsistencies or bad dieting, weight gain or loss, lifestyle, stress, or coming into contact with bacteria or other microbiological organisms that trigger the malignant mechanisms contained in the virus strain. There are more than two dozen “high-risk” strains of HPV that influence genital cancers, and even more that play a part in the development of warts and herpes.

Fact two: not only is HPV contagious, it’s also hereditary. Almost everyone that is born either has or contracts at least one strain of HPV from or during birth. The whole point of a vaccine is to prevent infection and desease. If you already have the HPV strain(s) Gardasil is intended to prevent, the vaccine will do absolutely nothing to protect you. As any doctor will tell you, once you contract a virus, you will never get rid of it; you can only adapt to it.

Fact three: Gardasil did not work in almost half of the people to which it was administered, and can actually be a factor in causing cervical cancer. In fact, studies have shown that not only did the vaccine fail prevented the infection in almost forty five percent of patients who had completed the Gardasil treatments, but had increased the risk of cervical cancer in many of the patients. The patients, many of whom had had the vaccine before becoming sexually active, had contracted the viruses or developed cervical cancer during a five year period in which they had engaged in sexual activity.

Fact four: While it is true that the two strains (16 and 18) are responsible for more than seventy percent of all cervical cancer, what people don’t take into consideration is the fact that, in many cases, the HPV virus never becomes active. Many people (over seventy percent) who have these two particular strains live and die without the HPV ever developing into a desease. HPV alone does not cause cervical cancer or other diseases. There are many things that must happen in the system, chemical changes that occur in the body, that must all happen at the same time or in a particular sequence to trigger diseased cells to grow and multiply. HPV on it’s own is not a threat to the health of an individual.

Fact five: The most common way to determine if a woman has HPV is with a procedure called a pap smear, in which the doctor inserts a long cotton swab into a woman’s vagina which would enter the cervix, scrapes a sample of the fluids from the vaginal or uterine wall, and tests it for HPV. However, the tests are not always accurate. For one, the test does not encompass all of the different strains. In most cases, you have to test the sample for HPV one strain at a time. Also, the virus can collect in one area, much like cancer, and is often missed during testing. The second way is through a blood test, but the only ones that could be detected through this method are HPV stains that interact with or contaminate blood. The four listed that Gardasil prevents do not associate with blood very often, if at all.

Fact six: Gardasil is an injection treatment that must be administered at least three times over a period of months before it will take effect in a person’s immune system. In fact, many doctors suggest that Gardasil should be administered more than that, but three is a safe number. The injections can cost up to three hundred and fifty dollars per injection or higher. So you’re basically spending a thousand dollars or more on a vaccine that has less than a ten percent chance of working.

Not only is Gardasil largely ineffective and potentially dangerous for the patients to which it’s administered, but the corporation that makes it is profitting on half-truths, misleading advertisements, and basic pathological fears every human being has of dying. If you want to get vaccinated, do it, but do it for the right reasons after you have done the appropriate amount of research on the subject. You life and body is not something you should leave to chance, but it’s also not something to be used as an experiment for a pharmecutical franchise that cares nothing about your health, and everything about your money. Gardasil is not as it advertised, and it’s important that people realize that before they make the choice to get vaccinated. I support the advancement of medicine and medical sciences, but not when it’s profits are taken from the pockets of poor, innocent people who are scared to death of a desease they’ll probably never get.